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What does Dora the Explorer have in common with your intuition? Find out in an episode dedicated to finding YOU.  

Find your true north voice of intuition and the place of inner compassion and self-love. It exists! 

Through a riddle and discussion, you will discover the part of you that can guide you much more effectively and solidly. Find a soft place to land inside your internal world. 

Calm the drama in your head. Learn a new way to think about your stories, habits, beliefs and personality traits. 

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Episode Summary:

I’m the Ground … I’m the Ground…I’m the Ground…I’m the GROUND! 

The title of this episode occurred to me while I was attempting to meditate with Dora the Explorer stuck in my head: “I’m the map, I’m the map, I’m the map…” yea you get it. 

Let's start with a riddle. 

Riddle:

Imagine you are on a halfway crowded dance floor, dancing to amazing music.  Look around at the people you see.

Suddenly, something about the arrangement of the people on the dance floor bothers you. So you move one tall guy with blonde hair over and pair him with a smaller woman dancing with her eyes closed. They continue to dance. You try to push a small stout man off the dance floor with a shove, but he doesn’t budge. Then you run quickly over to try to calm a hysterical child in the other corner. 

Then, everything feels ok again.

You go back to dancing and enjoying the moment, the music.

But then a woman starts screaming and brings you back into more dance floor drama. You move quickly around the dance floor, making peace, trying to re-arranging people, to fix everything.

WHO are you?

Solution: 

This little riddle actually demonstrates how we run the show in our heads.  Each person on the dance floor of your mind is a belief, value, story, habit, or personality trait inherited from your past.  

We spend our time trying to control these dancers and brutally change parts of ourselves using self-criticism, shame and guilt. We think that if we can just find the right way to do things and fix the broken parts of ourselves, then and only then we can relax, receive, and enjoy our lives.

But all of this work on our heads is exhausting. We can never seem to get it quite right. The process seems to create more anxiety, fear, and stress. And worse, we’re missing the party!

What if there was a different way to do it? What is there was an internal voice that we could listen to that would calm us, give us compassion, and help us make decisions outside of all of that noisy Stuff.

To find that voice, we have to answer the original riddle.

WHO are you?

You are reorganizing the people, rearranging, but you are not the people. You are not your stories, or beliefs. You are not even your “personality.”

You are the ground underneath it all.

You are just the ground. You are that which supports your stuff. You are the one with the front row seat to the craziness that happens in your head.

You don’t have to please those voices, calm the storms, fix anything about yourself, or get caught up in your “Stuff Drama”.  You can watch it like a movie – the neutral observer mentioned in mindfulness teachings.

There is nothing that can happen that could make the ground bad, or wrong, or not good enough. That sounds ridiculous. The ground just is.

And you just are. All of that stuff can dance around on top of you, but YOU are that support for it.

So many of us feel like our value as people, whether we are a “good person” or a “bad person,” whether we are deserving of love, and whether we can let ourselves enjoy the moment, is related to how well we can organize our stuff and succeed.

If we don’t succeed, or feel happy, or be social enough, or buy the house, or whatever standard we set up – we don’t let ourselves relax, receive, and enjoy our lives. We must fix!

When you realize that you are the ground, you realize that your ability to relax, receive, and enjoy is not tied at all to your success, failure, or any other stuff.

Let yourself be the ground, and you will stop getting so caught up in the drama of your head. That’s when your intuition will show up in full force.

You will start to find compassion, kindness, self-love, and the YOU that you’re always looking for. 

SO whenever you notice yourself getting caught up in your “Stuff Drama”, maybe feeling ashamed, criticized, anxious, depressed, or any emotional storm, remind yourself “I’m the ground, I’m the ground, I’m the ground, I’m the ground, I’m the GROUND!”

And remember that none of it means anything about you. I mean, you’re the f-ing ground. Why should you care?

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Direct download: Imtheground.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:36pm EST

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood" - Tom Robbins
 
Learn a new way to think about your relationship with the voices in your head. How do you actually go about reprogramming your brain to change the patterns that cause things like stress, anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and addiction? 
 
In this episode, you will learn how to recognize the destructive voices and patterns in your head and lay down new patterns that support and nourish you. Host Lauren Fire shares the concept of re-parenting and taking back control over the way that you talk to yourself. 
 
This episode will show you how to start to reshape your patterns and reshape how you treat yourself. It’s time to finally change, to finally be the person you’ve always wanted to be. How do you get YOU to emerge? The you that you know you can be… 
 
Show Summary: 
 
I. Re-Parenting Yourself   
 
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood” - Tom Robbins 
 
We all carry a parent with us in our heads. Most of our character, values, and personality comes from how we were parented as children. We adopted the model of our parents, in our heads. Once you realize this, you can get stuck in blame and anger at your parents, resenting them for how they treated you. 
 
But there is no way out of this. It doesn’t matter what happened to you back then. It already happened. The real issue to focus on is: Who is the parent in your head NOW? At some point it ceases to be your parent’s fault anymore, because you are doing this to yourself. You can stop doing it. You can re-shape the parent in your head. 
 
This podcast episode is about a process you can go through to, in essence, re-parent yourself. You get to create the parent in your head. You can re-shape it. That’s why it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. 
 
II. "It’s My Life!” - Taking Back Control 
 
The first step in re-parenting is to take back control. My daughter is two, and recently started saying “It’s my life!” whenever we try to convince her to brush her teeth or get into bed. 
 
That phrase has stuck in my head so much that I’ve actually started using it in the way I look at my life. Whenever I start to notice the self criticism or the parent that I don’t want controlling my head, I say to myself “It’s my life!” 
 
I don’t want to feel guilty about the clothes on my floor. I don’t want to feel mad at myself for not getting enough done. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy this moment not worry about how my hair looks. It’s my life!
 
See you are always more than that voice. You are not your critical voice. You have a critical voice. You are the one who observes it. You are the container where the voices live. So don’t let the voices control your day to day experience of your life. 
 
III. Playing Dolls with Your Subconscious - Establishing the New Parent
 
Now that you have decided you want to take back control, you pick the new patterns that you want. What were you missing in your childhood? What are you doing differently from your parents?  For me, I need more nurturing, support, unconditional love, compassion, emotional support. 
 
Once you decide what you are missing, what sorts of things would you need to say to yourself to invoke these feelings? What sorts of things would you  have wanted your parents to say to you? What would help you now? 
 
For me, its: It’s ok. Trust me. You can trust me. Relax. I’m not going anywhere. NO matter what you do, I will pick you up, I will love you, I will support you. You’re ok. Just cry if you need to. It’s going to look better tomorrow. This is just sadness, you’ll be ok. 
 
I’m recreating in my head the safe place to land that I’ve always needed. I’m creating a place of ultimate compassion, that no matter what, I’ve got my back. No matter what I do or don’t do, I will still love myself. What kind of place do you want to create for yourself? 
 
Now pick scenarios that generally trigger you and cause emotional storms. Role-play in your head how you would like that parent voice to respond. Play dolls, in essence, with the voices in your head. 
 
It will feel weird at first, like these voices are not mature. They are not overly developed. So it’s like you’re dealing with a child in your head that you want to turn into a parent. So you have to be gentle with it. 
 
Practice this regularly and you will start to shift your entire life. 
 

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Direct download: Happychildhood.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:09pm EST

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