Tue, 28 October 2014
What do you do when you secretly feel like the reality of motherhood doesn't live up to the hype? What happens when the day-to-day grind makes you feel stuck, trapped, sad, overwhelmed, or just plain bored? Learn how to re-discover who you are and what you deeply desire and how to start making small shifts in the direction of a happier and more fulfilled life.
Speaker and leadership coach Tewana Pinard explores why moms have a hard time admitting discontent and what you can do when after you realize that you're not 100% happy. Learn a process you can use to discover who you are and what is most important. Learn why you may not have been successful at changing in the past and how small changes can bring you closer to your desires and dreams.
10:05 - Tewana explains why it's so hard for moms to admit that they're not happy
14:00 - How limiting beliefs can lead you to settle in default unhappiness
16:35 - A new approach you can use to discover who you are and what you want
23:20 - Why it's important for moms to put their needs up front in order for their children to ultimately lead happy lives
26:05 - Tewana's advice for how moms can start today bringing their passions, goals, and desires back into their lives.
Visit the Show Notes Page for this Episode at: InspiringMama.com/MotherhoodJoy
Inspired to make small changes in your life? Try my Treat Yourself Challenge, 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy. Join to receive 10 free happiness lesson videos and a free E-Book. Free at: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself
Fri, 24 October 2014
Learn how to move through guilt and shame quickly with this short exercise. If you are highly critical of yourself, this podcast will help!
Shame is a very destructive emotion, usually connected with highly critical thoughts and a tense body. If you feel really bad when you make a mistake, or find yourself working tirelessly to please no one in particular, shame is probably the culprit.
But how do you get rid of it? What can you do, in the moment, when you feel bad about a mistake?
You say this to yourself:
I love you and I forgive you. I like to use my name: I love you Lauren and I forgive you Lauren.
I learned this from Cheryl Richardson, a highly acclaimed author and speaker. She said in a tele summit earlier this year that she does this when she feels ashamed.
We all criticize ourselves. The people who live the happiest are the ones who have learned how to move through it, putting it behind them rather than in front of them.
It's not about improving yourself or fixing yourself. It's about learning how to work with what you already do. This exercise is a way to work with guilt, shame and self criticism.
If you want more exercises like this, you would enjoy the challenge that I'm giving away, called the Treat Yourself Challenge - 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy.
Every day you will try a happiness lesson, just like The Shame Buster. At the end of the 10 days you will understand how to shift from crappy to happy anytime you want and gain a new freedom over how much you enjoy your life.
When you sign up at: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself, you will get: 10 short happiness lesson videos, an E-Book, and access to our exclusive Facebook group.
Join now: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself
Tue, 21 October 2014
Treating yourself isn't just about an ice cream cone or a bath. You can treat yourself by allowing yourself to be happy in any moment of your life. Most of us know this in theory, but don't understand HOW to actually do this in practice. How do you treat yourself to happiness? How do you practice happiness?
Host Lauren Fire explains that happiness is not actually the natural result of success. In fact happiness and success aren't linked together at all. ave to actually do something.
To practice happiness, to treat yourself to happiness, you have to actually shift the way you work with your mind, body, and emotions in the present moment.
Learn how you can use happiness tools to shift how you think and feel at any time. When you learn to do this, you unlock an incredible power in your life to be happy no matter the circumstances.
If you enjoyed this podcast, sign up for Inspiring Mama's Treat Yourself Challenge - 10 Days, 10 Ways to Shift from Crappy to Happy. Sign up at: InspiringMama.com/TreatYourself
When you enter your email, you will get the Treat Yourself E-Book, daily video happiness exercises for 10 days, and access to an exclusive Facebook group. Sign up today!
Mon, 13 October 2014
Our “to do” lists aren’t getting any shorter. And the organization tips in magazines only get us so far. We need a new way to think about overwhelm and productivity.
Lauren Fire interviews renowned sports psychologist and high performance consultant Loren Fogelman about overwhelm. Learn new ways to think about your particular brand of overwhelm and strategies for changing your relationship to the “to dos” in your life. Take back your power and feel stronger, more productive and happier with your accomplishments.
Bonus: To hear the entire tapping session between Lauren Fire and Loren Fogelman and to learn how to use tapping and the Emotional Freedom Technique to shift the beliefs that may be causing your overwhelm, visit the show notes page for this episode: InspiringMama.com/Overwhelm
Episode Quick Reference Guide:
4:40 - Loren talks about Wonder Woman Syndrome, how the quest for “doing it all” creates overwhelm, self-judgment, and inner criticism.
9:35 - Learn what causes overwhelm and how your belief structures influence how overwhelmed you feel on a regular basis.
12:50 – Understand negative self-talk and what you can do when self-criticism is causing you to feel more overwhelmed.
17:50 – Learn how shifting from “perfectionism” to “excellence” can shift your experience of your to-do list
20:25 – How a simple strategy you can do yourself, called the Emotional Freedom Technique (aka “tapping”) can shift the beliefs that are causing your overwhelm
28:00 - Loren’s advice for moms struggling with overwhelm and monster to-do lists.
Fri, 10 October 2014
Who doesn’t love a good mood! Did you know you can generate your OWN good mood, no matter what is happening? How POWERFUL are you? In this bonus episode, I’m going to teach you how to access your power to feel TOTALLY AMAZING AND ALIVE whenever you want. I call it The Good Mood Generator.
The Good Mood Generator is one of the Happiness Practices that I give away every week to members of the Inspiring Mama Village. You can join at InspiringMama.com.
What is a Happiness Practice? I'm glad you asked!
My philosophy is very simple. When you practice happiness, you will enjoy more of your life.
Have you ever thought to yourself, I will be happy when…I lose 10lbs, change jobs, move, get pregnant…
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but sadly happiness is not going to show up at your door when you get any of these things.
Because when you get there, you will still be you. And you still won’t be happy. You may be happy for a bit. But you will soon find something else to strive for.
Happiness is not a goal. It is not the natural result of success.
Countless research studies have shown this. Countless celebrities and other “successful people” have proven this again and again with drug abuse, overdoses and most recently, suicide.
Happiness is a practice.
It’s something you do.
All over the world, authors, thought leaders, speakers, and researchers are all saying the same thing - if you’re not actively practicing happiness, actively trying to take more joy in your life, you are only living half alive.
If you want to enjoy more of your life, feel more alive, it’s time you start practicing happiness.
You can practice happiness with The Good Mood Generator, and the other short Happiness Practices that I give away to the Inspiring Mama Village.
Tue, 7 October 2014
How can we, as parents, relax and enjoy the ride a little more? In this episode, host Lauren Fire discusses what it means to "chill out" when you are stressed and how you can actually change the way that you move and breathe to change the way your body processes stress.
Learn a quick way to feel more relaxed and present during a busy day. Learn how to live and work at a pace that doesn’t mean you sacrifice your health and happiness to take care of your family. And learn how to enjoy it all at the same time!
I have 2 gears. I either work at a crazy fast pace or I’m crashed out on the couch. I run, then I burnout. Then I run again. And so on.
I’m like the Hare in the old fable The Tortoise and the Hare. But instead of sleeping, I’m by the side of the rode watching Mad Men re-runs to zone out, while the Tortoise passes me by.
At this pace, it’s hard to take care of myself. As a result I’m burned out and exhausted much of the time. But I’m keeping up!
Ever feel that way?
How do we find a sustainable pace that doesn’t cause us to sacrifice our own health and happiness to take care of our families? And how do we enjoy it all at the same time?
1. Turn Off Survival Mode
The first step to finding a sustainable and enjoyable pace is to see what pace or “mode” you’re currently operating in. Look at how you move through your day. Are you running at a hurried and frenzied pace much of the time?
Are you in more of a “survival mode” or are you in more of “enjoyment mode”? In survival mode, when your son forgot his lunch or the baby missed a nap, you handle it the like a plane crashed and you have to fight off the smoke monster. A slow driver makes you feel like you’re going to rear end him on principal alone. In survival mode, everything is important, everyone is annoying or frustrating, and you feel like you are always running to catch up.
Honestly, I think I’ve lived on survival mode since I was 18 when my parents got a divorce. I felt I had to start taking care of myself, grow up, and I started pushing myself to succeed, to work harder, to be the best. Failure was never an option.
Sometimes we need survival mode. We need to act first, kick butt, and take names later. But if you notice that you are prone to burning out or to needing to “zone out” just to keep going, you may be stuck in survival mode.
You may have forgotten that you have a choice in the matter!
What’s wrong with survival mode? First off, it’s actually hazardous to your health. In survival mode, you are more prone to hit your body’s stress response.
Follow me here, I’m going into biology a bit. Your stress response is your body’s emergency alert system, readying your body to run from a tiger. When that alert is triggered, your body dumps stress chemicals that allow your body to perform at a higher level, to run faster for example.
The alert also causes your body to shut down parts of your system, to divert it’s precious resources to dealing with the tiger. So if you trigger your stress response regularly at smaller events, like slow drivers or tantruming toddlers, your body may be diverting energy from other systems like your immune system or reproductive organs. Ever noticed your body breaking down during times of stress?
Even worse, the more you hit that alert, the easier it gets to trigger, so the more often it will get triggered. This means that as stress increases, your body’s ability to process it actually decreases. It’s a vicious cycle that I’ve actually been stuck it in many, many times.
Ever had something simple, like a pile of laundry, make you feel like crying or just giving up? This is why.
This is burnout. And if you operate in a survival mode, like I do, it will keep happening to you.
We need to chill out. We need to live more in enjoyment mode.
Enjoyment mode is the opposite of survival mode. When you are on enjoyment mode, you don’t sweat the small stuff. You do what needs to be done, but if you make a mistake you are able to let yourself off the hook. You move through the day slower, at a more deliberate pace. You feel happier and more relaxed. The same slow driver that drove you over the edge in survival mode now just makes you chuckle. You are able to enjoy your life more.
We all have the capacity to operate in either mode. But which do you spend more time in?
If you are in survival mode more often, it’s time to ask yourself why? Look back at your life and ask see – was there an event that caused you to feel you needed this mode? Do you still need it?
2. How to Chill Out…You Gotta Gear Down
How fast do you move? How tense are you? If you were to compare yourself to a car, what speed are you running at most often.
I move very fast. Sometimes I feel like that I can totally relate to that little mouse, Speedy Gonzalez. I don’t know why. I just do.
If you were to take a deep breath right now, does it feel a little forced? If I said to you – relax your jaw – would you suddenly realize it has been super tense?
Both speed and tension cause your body to think it should be stressed. Your thoughts are not the only thing influencing your stress response. The way you move your body, breath, and carry yourself all influence your stress response.
Your body is constantly feeling, sensing, and evaluating your circumstances to protect you from danger. You can tell your body to be on high alert, like a deer, or you can tell your body that it’s allllll goooood, just by changing a few things.
This exercise is called Gearing Down. First, tell yourself you need to gear down. Just in your head, say it.
Imagine that you are a car, and you are dropping down into low gear. The car is still powerful, but it’s moving a little slower. Gear yourself down.
Now drop and ground yourself. If you don’t know how to ground yourself, check out my free mp3: How to Ground Yourself – Your Emotional Reset Button.
As you ground yourself, notice your breathing. Are you breathing shallowly? Are you holding your breath? Take a few deep breaths and let your breathing go.
Next, I want you to start moving slower. Just slow everything down. If you are getting breakfast ready, do it…slower. Open the fridge in 3 beats instead of 1. Move across the kitchen in 4 steps instead of 2. Walk slower, cut slower.
When you slow down, you will notice that you have to relax a little. Just as it’s hard to move fast and not be tense, it’s hard to move slowly and not relax.
Slowing down will also get you out of you head and into the present moment. When you gear down while playing with your children, feeding, or spending time with your partner, you will notice that you enjoy it more. It’s nice, like coming home.
When you gear down, you actually get to treasure the moments with your children in real time.
But you first have to let yourself enjoy it more. At lot of us operate on survival mode because we think we have to.
We work ourselves to the bone to prove something to ourselves or to someone else. We don’t let ourselves enjoy the fruits of our labor, much less our labor!
But you can’t chill out if you don’t give yourself the gift of slowing down. You deserve it. You can work hard AND enjoy it.
Remember, just because you don’t move at the speed of light doesn’t mean you’re not doing a fantastic job! So gear down mama and start chilling out and enjoying more of your life!